Motivation By Riah Thema

To my fellow young sisters


We are living in the society that is pressurising us to live according to a certain standard. The pressure has pushed a lot of us to take bad decision in life. We are trying so hard to fit in so that we can gain respect from our influences. Truth be told, the respect is impermanent. When you start facing consequences of your actions you will be left alone.


I’d like to share a little bit about my past life experience. I grew up in a big family. It was hard to be noticeable in the family. So, the street was the language I understood at that time. Most of my life experiences, I learnt from the streets. I had a low self-esteem because I was very skinny. Lol! I had no African background kind of a body if you know what I mean. I remember one of my friends once said I’m flat at the back and in front. She added that boys are not into skinny girls. I really took offence and at that time I really wanted to have a boyfriend because it was kind of cool to have a boyfriend or boyfriends. There was absolutely nothing that I would do to gain weight. I just accepted but I had serious body issues at that time.


I needed to prove a point that I can have a boyfriend. So, any guy that would come my way I will date him because I needed to prove to my friends that as skinny as I may be, I can still have a boyfriend. I was still a virgin at that time. I would hear my friends talking about sex. I’d try to picture how is like. Lol I once asked a friend if a cake is nicer than sex and she said there’s nothing that is nicer that sex. I was very curious to do it. I’d meet a guy then tell myself that I’m going to allow him to break my virginity. Huh! Consciousness wouldn’t allow me. After maturing in these dating thing, I really wanted to break my virginity because friends treated me like was still young and I know nothing. My body started developing late. I started developing breast when I was in grade 9 and I saw my menstruation when I was in grade 10. All these late developments were putting me under pressure because friends were like “I’m not woman enough”.


I dated two guys. Then I had to decide who will break my womanhood. I had to compare the guys then choose the one I like most. That was the bad decision I’ve ever made. Little did I know what I was getting myself into. It was painful, but I had to endure so that I can prove a point that I’m woman enough. The so-called pleasure was not there. I realised maybe is because its the first time.  I was looking forward to breaking the news to my friends. Well! They were very happy for me. But I tell you, If there was a chance to restore my virginity, I’d do so. Letting your body laid for the first time to someone who’s your husband, is something you should be proud of.


Never live your life to please friends. They only come and go. The friends you have today might not be there in 5 or 10years to come. Make the right decisions, set goals and implement them. Its ok to be a virgin. Let them talk behind your back, It’s fine. Your body is the temple of God. Choose to wait!! 😊


By: Riah Thema

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